It was a time when I was really happy within myself, no boyfriend to contend with, great job I was enjoying (with another job on the side just for the social aspect), I was nearing the end of my 5 year part-time law degree, a social life to be envious of and I was at a weight with which I was happy; I could swan into topshop and select any dress I desired, size 10, any fit; although my fit of choice was mainly bodycon, baby; and boy did I rock that look...over and over and over....and over again. Now, I just stare enviously at young girls in Topshop choosing tight little mini's, hiding behind the rack which holds the floaty baby doll numbers that can cover a multitude of sins; the darker the colour the better as I tell myself it will help me fade into the background.
I'd spend my weekends partying with the gals; disco dancing til 6am, festivals, gigs and when I wasn't doing that I'd be either jogging through the woods with my little white dog in tow, following the WW diet flawlessly or preening my body to within an inch of its life; I had an ever glowing skin colour (false, of course; never one for a sunbed, me), a constant bouncy, shiny, curly blow dry and brows to die for (they were constantly under close supervision).
I read the book 'The Secret' like it was my bible and I had a gratitude list for things that I wanted to accomplish that year with things on it such as 'I will be able to speak fluent French within 6 months time' along with plenty of other life long personal goals such as; travel the world before I'm 30, be engaged at 30, be married at 32, have children at 35. Of course, life never works out the way plan it.
I have so far, accomplished a few of the things on that list, one of them was graduating with a law degree and the other? This blog. I've always loved reading (hate fiction books, though), I've loved writing since I was a child (friends and family members say I am brilliant at it, actual writers and critics would say terrible!) and most of all I love talking. Talking, talking, talking all day long. One day during the existence of my super successful self I thought, 'maybe I'll start a blog!', and so I did.
The only problem there was, what did I actually have to talk about worth reading? Nothing really. I love fashion, but I wouldn't say I was fashion savvy enough to be a fashion blogger, nor do I have the time or patience to scrawl the internet each and everyday all day long looking at new trend reports and keeping abreast of every new item to be listed on net-a-porter as and when it becomes available. And who'd want to blog about law?? So as quick as I set the blog account up, I logged out again and never gave it a second thought!
Fast forward to me now, March 2012 and I finally feel as though I have something to talk about; issues worth discussing and experiences worth sharing. I've had a baby. An unplanned one most definitely, but the happiest accident of my entire life; I must say.
You know those mums that have a spotlessly clean house and hair preened to perfection with 7 kids in tow who claim to be perfectly happy? They're not. And when they answer "it's great, I absolutely love every minute of it" in response to the question "how are you finding motherhood and looking after a newborn?"...They're lying. And it really is as simple as that. My response to that question would be a blatantly truthful; "it's effing hard work. Imagine it being hard work and then multiply that by 1000". Quite frankly, I could be that mum, with the spotless house and the fab hair and on some days, I am. But when I am, I don't leave the house to go anywhere or have time to play with my bubba because I don't have time!! So it only happens on very rare occasions. I imagine I'll get better at it as time goes on, though.
The reason for me keeping anonymous?? Well, I intend to use this blog as my outlet for expressing all of daily thoughts and I am positive the boyf (hereinafter referred to as 'BF') would be pretty upset and angry at me if he realised I was sharing every issue of our relationship and lives in general with the entire world. Plus, I couldn't exactly moan about my mother (or his) if they both were subscribers now, could I? So sadly, I won't be uploading regular pics of Isla and I at playgroup or wherever the dull weekdays happen to take us (I like to refer to them as 'The Groundhog Days') for risk of blowing my cover. Or believe me, I would do. My child is one of the most beautiful in the entire world. Biased? Yeah probably.
So until next time bloggers.......bon nuit.
Dolly Daydream xoxo
This is a great post and welcome to being a (parent) blogger...it gets addictive. I read your post with empathy and it's groundhog day in our house too. Good effort on getting your baby to sleep (lovely name) - my first (now 2+1/2) was a nightmare every 90mins wake up with the need to be rocked to sleep until 8 months - I was a zombie. My second, well she's nearly 8 months and occasionally wakes for a night feed so I am overly happy that we 'cracked' her. I wish I stayed an anonymous blogger but after a few weeks I opened up the flood gates and friends and family came piling in...still wasn't a bad thing for me.
ReplyDeleteWell, if you haven't already been there there are some great blogs on Netmums - sign yours up and pop over to Britmums, Love all Blogs,and HelloCotton too.
Look forward to reading more xx