I haven't written a blog post for a good while now. I do realise I need to keep up and create posts more regularly but upon entering this new world I have stumbled upon (and been welcomed to with open arms by many yummy mummies) I have found that I am just not so great with computers. At all. So I've been spending the majority of my time trying to learn new things, keep in touch with my new 'pals' and keep up to date with the blogs I follow.
However, Easter weekend I probably done none of the above. Why I hear you ask? Because, my friends; I went PARTYING. TWICE. IN ONE WEEKEND/MONTH/YEAR.
This never ever happens to me and in fact this was my first time out with all my little lovely lady friends since November 2010. Yup. Almost 18 months. Rewind 2 years and I was up there with the best of them; out every weekend at the coolest places to be with the coolest people to know drinking the coolest drinks there are. I was also at the worst places to be, drinking the worst drinks known to man; but the company was always fabulous. I was just anywhere!!
Thursday night and myself along with eight of my favourite friends headed out to a Travelodge hotel in the city to commence our night. This was booked on the back of a sale and cost us a fiver each; which was far cheaper than taxi's home; hence the reason for booking.
We stopped off at Boots in a local retail park whilst I ran in for some falsies (eyelashes). I always use Eyelure Naturalites in number 107.
After there we continued on to our destination. We were around two minutes away from our destination when I spotted flashing blue lights in my rear view. Bugger. Three points and a sixty quid fine later (i was doing just short of 50 in a 30 zone; I thought it was a 40 and didn't realise I was going so fast due to the level of excited girly gossip going on in my car- don't judge) and we arrived. Drinks were flowing and we all started getting ready with the music on having a dance around and generally just being girls.
Even though I was there with my nearest and dearest; I couldn't help feeling very out of place and uneasy. I know they know I've just had a baby; yet for some reason I felt the need to keep mentioning it when I was dressed. Why? I guess I just wanted to be the old me again; just for the night and guess what? I wasn't. I came to the conclusion that I will never be the old me again; because the new me is here. The new me who still has a stone of baby weight to shift, the new me who feels insecure and is lacking in confidence since becoming a mum and the new me who just isn't a crazy party girl anymore.
The girls of course tried to make me feel better by telling me I looked amazing; especially for just having had a baby...but of course that didn't work, I still didn't feel good. We went out into the cold air night (me with a leather jacket glued to my back as I wanted to be as covered as possible!) and headed for our nearest favourite bar in the city.
The cocktails, champagne and vodka soon started flowing and before long we moved on to a cool new bar opening (which was not very cool at all) before finishing the night in our favourite club which we frequented week in week out for many years.
As soon as I walked in; I was shocked. I am only 26 and guess what? I felt OLD. Every person walking around in there was around the age of 18 and I even found myself trying to mother a couple of young boys (around 16 years old) at the bar. I was standing for an age trying to get served they offered to get me a drink to which I responded something along the lines of...'Pah! Don't be so ridiculous, I am old enough to be your mother, I've been coming here since you were in nappies, I will buy you children a drink if anything, I'm a mother now don't you know....' Embarrassing much!!
Even though the place was full of really young people, all the girls being together we still had a ball. We danced in to the wee hours of the morning before heading back to the hotel in a taxi (via Mcdonalds) and all crashed into bed. The next morning we chatted excitedly about the nights events before all heading home again in a convoy of cars.
It felt so good to be me again (the new me, granted, not the old me; I think she's gone forever) and not to be just 'mummy'; but I realised I had had my fill for a long time and wasn't desperate to get back out again quite so soon. I was desperate to get back to my little girl though and see her big happy gummy smile. There's nothing quite like the feeling of having big cuddles with your little person knowing they are happy to see you.